Outcome Vs Birth Experience

I hear a lot of women arguing about whether it is even important to have the birth you want as long as you get a healthy baby at the end. It always made me wonder why they thought this way.


The whole point of being pregnant is your baby. If you didn’t want a baby, pregnancy is not the way to go about that.

If it is happy and a healthy baby, that is all that should matter. Your baby is with you, no matter how it got there.

Your baby being healthy should make for a good birth experience in itself. If your baby has no problems, why would you have a problem with how it got there?

Labor only lasts a short time, so shouldn’t you concentrate on the thing that will be your child always? And even if you remember your labor forever, your healthy child is the best manifestation of it.


How you felt as your child was born will be with you always, whether it was a happy time or a disappointing time.

God wouldn’t have made labor a ‘trial’ if it was all about the baby. He would have made it simple and easy so that the baby just came out, instead of hours of labor and hours of pushing.

Since it is the first time you meet your baby, don’t you want it on your terms? I would want to meet my baby in an environment that was calming and relaxing, instead of under bright surgery lights and with a drape between me and my baby.

You can plan how you want your birth before you get pregnant, so you technically aren’t taking the spotlight from your baby. Your baby is still the spotlight though, no matter when you plan. It is only about your new family when you give birth. No one else.

It is a rite of passage. Labor prepares a woman for her baby through her body, heart, and mind. You have tons of emotions during the time and it helps you learn about yourself and what you want.

Before I had a bad experience, I didn’t really have a side. I didn’t think it would turn out bad. Now I am definitely on board with the fact that the birth is VERY important. It’s your life. It’s your baby. It’s your labor.
Why have it be something you don’t want, when you actually have more control over it than you realize?

5 Responses

  1. I agree so much with it being a rite of passage. I feel as if I can’t claim being a ‘real’ women all because I ‘failed’ at having a vaginal birth. I know if I have to have a repeat section it will devistate me.

  2. I think every woman should have in mind an idea of how she would like to give birth, but I also think it is important to accept that during labor things can shift from your desired preferance on how you would like it to go and just because your birth experience wasn’t the one you wanted doesn’t make it any less important or you any less of a woman. Part of the guilt women carry is brought about by being made to feel as though labor is something we must succeed at and so when it goes not according to plan the woman is left with a feeling of failure when she should be elated about the birth of her baby.

  3. I feel like the experience helps yeild a better and more positive outcome. I think it is important to be prepared to willingly accept a medical intervention if necessary. But that overall, if you have a good experience and are relaxed and focused, you put yourself in a frame of mind that is more conducive to a good outcome. I think a birth plan is important for that very reason. I also think it’s important to be open to options outside your birth plan just in case you need them.

  4. I feel I need to clarify..Everyone knows that things can go wrong. It happens all the time. But, with birth, things go wrong less than we are led to believe.What if you are open to interventions and you have a birth plan that outlines how you feel and everything, but the second you get to the hospital, you are strapped to a table, and when you should be allowed to push or get into a better position for a faster delivery, you are wheeled for an unnecessary cesarean? You don’t see your child for hours after the birth, and so is it really your child? You don’t bond, and you were not a part of their birth at all.All doctors make you face the facts about being open to options. It just makes sense. But what if your options are taken from you? You had no say in your birth because they did it by saying your baby is dying, when it isn’t, and don’t let you do what you feel is right?If you are belittled in your own labor, you only have your husband for support, and even your doctor won’t follow your birth plan, how can you be happy with how things go? You still love your child because it’s yours, but you feel apart and indifferent from them because you truly weren’t there when they made their entrance into the world.And even if you are relaxed and positive, this outcome would devestate anyone. It’s your child, why not have it like you want to, especially when the medical side is completely unnecessary?

  5. I think it’s quite obviously a combination of both. If you could have a healthy baby and either a good or bad experience, we would all chose to have a good experience.Kayce is right, having a good experience is usually within our control. If we do everything we can to prepare for birth and to create the environment we want for labor and delivery and things still go bad, at least we have the comfort of knowing that we did all we could to have the experience we wanted.

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