Birth Story #17

So, instead of a story today, I decided to run an idea I had by you guys.

I was reading one of my new books (“the day my baby was born..” – terrible book btw), and this idea came to me.

Why do women have the births they do? Are some women just more prone to having a natural birth or a medical birth? Are some people more likely to be happy with their birth no matter the outcome?

So, I decided to use myself as an example of my theory.

When I was first pregnant, I decided from the get go I would have a natural unmedicated birth. I wasn’t against induction or anything like that, I just did not want any pain medication. Giving birth has never really scared me. I take pain really well (I only had tylenol after my cesarean), and I knew I could get through it.

I think this is because of how my mom portrayed birth.

She labored with me for 17 hours. No pain medication, and she pushed for 3 of those hours. She never had anything bad to say about the pain. She wasn’t scared of it, she didn’t think it was something that needed to be medicated. I got stuck on her tailbone, which had broken into the birth canal when she was 7 months pregnant with me and she didn’t know, so I kept turning around at every contraction to be posterior. The doctor would turn me at the next contraction, and while my mom was pushing I would turn back.

It was finally decided that a cesarean would be the only way short of rebreaking my mom’s tailbone.

When a cesarean was offered to me, I didn’t see any downsides. My mom had a cesarean with me and a repeat with my brother. She had no lasting side effects, and everything went great with both her babies.

It wasn’t until after the cesarean and things went downhill for me that I doubted my decision.

So, to the point.

I truly believe how your mother and father portrayed birth to you as a kid and teenager affected your decision with your children. I never thought about pain medication because my mom didn’t need it. She always described the pain in a positive light. And the same with a cesarean. Nothing negative about it.

If I had grown up fearing birth and having my mother tell me that it was a terrible experience and pain management is the way to go, I am pretty sure I would be more prone to this side of the argument.

So, what do you guys think? Is this a valid idea? Does how you grow up truly affect how you gave birth or want to give birth?


4 Responses

  1. I really never thought of it until now. I think some of it has to do with what I learned from my Mom, but at the same time mentally I wasn't really understanding what it was about until I was older. I do know cesarean never even crossed my mind because I never heard anything about it until I was older. As an adult the stories I hear from family and friends actually is taking me into different directions than I ever thought, opening new doors to different ways of bringing a child into this world.

  2. The fact that my mom had a cesarean for only on of her four births, and then had a VBAC really made the importance of vaginal delivery clear to me. The only time I ever heard my mom talk negatively about giving birth was when she would mention her cesarean. She certainly had valid reasons for having the cesarean, but it was still a difficult experience for her. Even though birthing was rarely a topic of conversation, the things I learned from my mom definitely impacted how I view birth.

  3. Growing up I would ask Mom to tell me of my birth day. See never would mention pain or how uncomfortable she was. The story always was a happy wonderful one. She went natural for all six of us kids. What a woman! I think that because she was so happy about her births I was never scared to have children. I also think that it is just a starting point. Kris and I have slightly different ideas about birth, we came from the same mom. So not only is it how we were raised with birth, but I believe it is also what we have learned on our own. Does that make sense?

  4. My mom will go on to anyone about how painful and horrible my birth was for her. She didn't get an epidural until the last second and then it didn't work or have time to take affect. It is a wonder she ever had another child considering how horrible my birth was! She is quick to point out how much better my sister's birth was…she got the drugs early that time.I'm a reader. When I got pregnant, I did imagine that I would want every drug that I could get. However, I'm a reader and a research junkie. After doing some reading, I find myself wanting a natural drug free birth. I think it just depends on the type of person you are.

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