Whatever Happened to Support?

This week hubby and I went up North to help some family paint their deck (and when I say hubby and I, he painted, I watched kids haha).

While I was up there, my SIL came by, and we talked about what we always talk about, birth. The lady we were visiting, we will call her Patricia, had a bad birth experience for her first child, and a really great one for her second, both delivered vaginally.

My SIL and I were talking, and Patricia turned to me and asked, “You had a cesarean with your daughter, right?” I answered, “Yes, and I will NEVER have one again.”

She looked me in the eye and said, “Oh, I wouldn’t say that, you do want to leave that option open.” I was SOOOOO pissed I couldn’t even talk. Thankfully, my SIL was there to talk about how it is surgery and all the downsides of a repeat cesarean.

But I was just blown away! My cesarean truly wasn’t that big of a deal, even with my daughter in the NICU for a week because of everything? Really???

It definitely got me thinking. Whatever happened to support in our society?

One of my best friends had an unnecessary cesarean with her daughter. All of the people I have heard talk to her can only say “Aren’t you glad you went to the hospital when you did so your baby survived?”

Since when did we equate the hospital with the survival of babies? They actually KILL babies and mothers with their unnecessary and risky procedures!!!

Never again will I look at a birth story the same. I am actually filled with contempt for our society more than ever. Why can’t a woman have the experience she wants without people telling her it is crazy and irresponsible?

Why can’t I have a VBAC with the support I need, but people can have elective cesareans and people jump through hoops for them?

It just isn’t fair….

(Sorry about the soap box, it just really bothers me…..)

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2 Responses

  1. Oh I hear you!! I get so upset talking to people sometimes. At our ICAN meeting we were joking about getting a t-shirt that says "don't talk to me I'm not like you". THat's how I feel about birth sometimes when everyone at church is talking about getting induced and all that stuff. And I like to say that I will never have a cesarean again. love your blog!

  2. I really don't get why people act that way. I don't understand why someone can't be supportive of a healthier way to give birth.

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