Who is "They"?

In every story I read, as long as it isn’t a natural birth or someone actually takes charge of their care, I always hear people say, “And they decided it was time to induce/augment/section”.

Who is this “they”, and why do we give them so much power over our bodies?

This “they” are our OB/GYNs. They have been to 8 years of college and 2 or 3 years of an internship to get where they are. They know the ins and outs of medicalized birth. They know exactly what to do when something goes wrong. They know how to deliver babies.

But, why do we give them power over us?

Considering we are living in a ‘women’s right’s’ time, I am amazed that we, as women, are letting people tell us what it best to do with our bodies and our babies. We don’t let me give us their seats on the bus, we fight to have the same jobs as men, and yet we let men take over the part of us that is completely feminine.

My friend’s wife just had their baby this morning. She labored for 20 hours then “they” decided she needed the section. THEY decided.

The one problem with obstetrics is that sometimes they DO know more than we do. And that sometimes is when something goes wrong. You are in labor, you are worried about your baby, and the doctor comes in and says that something is wrong and you need a cesarean. Regardless of whether or not they started the cascade that put your baby in trouble or not is not the issue.

The issue is that they “know” more than we do so we completely put ourselves into their care and the care of our unborn baby. Only if something goes wrong do we question. Otherwise, we say that the doctor “saved” the baby.

“Saved” like our body was killing the baby and the doctor needed to intervene and make sure the fetus survived the horrendous way it is supposed to be born.

I get so angry listening to women talk about their births if they had to have unnecessary procedures. I have only ever heard a few that talk bad about what happened. All the rest thank God that “they” were able to save the baby. Like their body is completely flawed and needed some help.

It is your body. It is your decision what happens to it. No one can force you to do anything, unless you are a laboring woman and then you are free game.

“They” can court order cesareans, “they” can take away babies from mothers that birthed at home, and “they” can always say “they” did it for the “good of the baby”.

Whatever happened to the “good of the mother”?

No one can be on both sides of the argument. It goes back to the abortion debate. You cannot give women the right to abort their own fetus and then come back 9 months later and say the fetus has more rights than the woman. It is hypocrisy. You CANNOT do that.

Women need to take back their births!! They need to research, they need to question, and they need to give true informed consent.

Will this happen in my lifetime? Not for all women, but hopefully for the women I can help it will.


One Response

  1. I love this post and will definitely come asking you any questions I have should I disagree with what I've been told. It does sound awful that so many women act as though their child would have died if the doctor/nurses weren't there. We really SHOULD be more informed and stop letting societies views on things run our lives. Thanks for posting this!

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